22nd January 2017 …

… Have another sleepless night worrying about this bloody lump on my neck – I just can’t bear it – why hasn’t it gone with the antibiotics – It can’t be a good sign… What is it ? I don’t have any other symptom – no other swellings – soreness …. nothing ! I am absolutely TERRIFIED it is something more sinister – What on earth will I do if it is … I don’t think I am strong enough to cope with that – I don’t know how I am going to cope…

I am so Very Scared – Too Many What Ifs – I DO NOT LIKE IT AT ALL ….

Rubbish day on the whole – not a lot achieved at all really – I feel so overwhelmed it is ridiculous but I can’t control how low I am feeling at the moment…  I am trying but I am not doing a very good job !!!!

23rd January … Blood tests at Hemel Hempstead … fingers crossed … worried about what the results might show but at least I am doing something at last !!!!

26th January .. Blood test results show that everything is okay except for my potassium levels which are elevated so off for more blood tests tomorrow…

27th January … Joy of Joys – I get to the doctors to find out that they do not have the form for me to pick up so that I can go and get the blood tests… I am asked to go to get . Every time I go tot the bloody doctors there is a drama. I am beyond worried about this blood lump and now I am having to argue with a doctors receptionist as they can’t find the form Dr Knowlden told me would be there … Things take a turn for the better when I am the first person there for blood tests so am in and out in 10 mins !!!!

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