The first Ultrasound … 11th February

11th February … Oskar’s 14th Birthday …  Mum comes down as a surprise for Oskar .. it is good to have mum down as today I am off to have an Ultrasound at Spire hospital … I am feeling positive as the doctor reassures my that it must be something called a brachial cyst … I have not clue … The radiologist is very kind but he is unsure what he is seeing – he is concerned that it may be a leak from my brain !!! GREAT ! … he recommends that I go for an MRI scan to determine what is going on …. I HAVE TO KEEP POSITIVE. I cannot become overwhelmed with negative thoughts …

13th February … Doctors to organise an MRI lets hope that this time he gets it right … referring me to an ENT consultant. We had to pay for the Ultrasound ourselves as our insurance company AXA PPP won’t accept GP referrals !… all I know is that I need to find out what is going on as soon as possible… I feel as though every second counts that I can’t sit around I have to push to get this sorted.

I really need to feel better … It is like I am walking underwater – I feel so sluggish and fuzzy headed. I have even wondered if I am depressed. Feeling so utterly overwhelmed with all the sorting out that needs to be done at home combine that with feeling so shite….. Shit; bugger; fuck; bollocks when is this going to end …


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