Just a Thought …

It’s an interesting conundrum writing a blog … there is no denying that writing is a cathartic process, which for me has always been something private that I have done for myself. A blog is not necessarily private – there is the possibility that other people are going to read it; then as with all other social media platforms they will have an opinion and will voice it whether it be positive or negative ! Can I cope with that aspect – assuming of course that anyone is ever going to read my words …

I look at lots of blogs that are so polished and professional – I cannot imagine how much energy and effort it must take to produce something so polished … I can only dream of creating such a work …

 This is my dad … he is and always has been my creative inspiration … Concentrating        I spend a lot of time wondering how he would have felt about my diagnosis, how he would have coped.  He used to worry about so much especially his children and it was my mum’s strength that kept him together and gave him the strength to be the man that he was. Indeed it is her strength that gives me the strength to be as strong as I can be .

She moved down to live with us for the entire duration of my treatment – I had daily radiotherapy for 6 weeks and she was there to look after me and everyone else every step of the way. She cooked, she cleaned, she fed us all … she went above and beyond the call of duty. I know that I could not have gone through it without her ,,, She has and always will be our rock …fullsizeoutput_b2

My oncologist of course told me what the possible side effects would be when you have radiotherapy to an area that includes your mouth & throat … Not only do you have to cope with the effects that the radiotherapy has on your skin  – the worst possible sunburn – you skin literally blisters and disintegrates . For me the area that was affected by the treatment was the right side of my neck, my collarbone area to my shoulder, under my chin and the bottom half of my face from the corner of my mouth to my ear. I now wish that I had taken some photographs but I really didn’t have the energy at the time. I was floating around in a kind of treatment bubble – coping daily with whatever was happening to me  –  in that moment. The aspect that is almost impossible to describe to anyone is how the inside of my mouth felt. If you can imagine the most painful mouth ulcer that you have ever had and enlarge it so that is covers the entire inside of your check, your gums, your tongue, the roof of your mouth, your throat and you are about half way there to how painful the inside of your mouth is. The medication that you have to take every 4 hours is impressive – the mouth washes, the pain killers … there is so much …. so very much …

There are certain cancers that are always in the headlines, there are the cancers that have the celebrity bloggers, vloggers, lifestyle influencers … the millennials but what about the late forties bods that just be … that live their lives quietly, coping with what life throws at them in the best way that they can … where is our voice … who speaks for us ?

 

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